Tag: rebecca schoenkopf

ZAPRUDERS SARAH PALIN

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Sarah Palin, ZAPRUDER

FIELD & STREAM ‘GUN NUTS’ COLUMNIST ZAPRUDERS SARAH PALIN

by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF

Poor Sarah Palin. She got fired from Fox (probably, why not) and doesn’t even have a reality show anymore. Since nobody in her family seems to have a job, ever, who is going to keep her in Taco Bell? And now the “Gun Nuts” columnists at Field & Stream are examining a three-year-old video from when she did have a reality show, and saying that Little Miss Authenticity is a nitwit loser phony who can’t even shoot large meese? WHAT THE FUCK, FIELD & STREAM.

Take it away, “Gun Nuts”!

In my previous post, I was surprised that no one defended John McCain against my accusation that he’s at least partly nuts, which probably means that he is at least partially nuts. Some of you, however, took umbrage at my interpretation of Sarah Palin botching the shooting of a caribou. I felt so poorly about this that I went back and re-viewed the tape (You can see it below. It runs about 3 ½ minutes) and it made me even more depressed than I was before.

Ms. Palin is an extremely inexperienced shooter.

First, she allows her dad and the guide, who are both apparently nitwits, to jabber at her continually throughout the performance, make suggestions, swap rifles when it turns out that the first one has a bum scope (!), and allow her to blaze away at a moving animal. […]

If nitwits are yammering at you, you tell them to shut the f**ck up because you can’t concentrate. No experienced shooter would put up with their nonsense. […]

Why, before the fatal shot was fired, did the editor of the film superimpose a bogus crosshair on the poor dopey caribou? Why do we not see Ms. Palin firing the rifle? Is it because she did not do the shooting?

Finally, look at the way she carries the rifle as the party walks up to the late lamented ungulate. No experienced shooter carries a rifle like this.

I have nothing in particular against Sarah Palin. But I do believe in watching politicians with a critical eye, especially if they try to palm themselves off as something they’re not. She undoubtedly hunts, and is undoubtedly is OK with guns, but to say that as a shooter she’s anything but a rank beginner is wishful thinking.

So happy Valentimes, Sarah Palin. We are sorry that even Field & Stream thinks you suck.

[FieldAndStream]

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Crazy Pamela Geller: Why Is America Being So Mean To Domestic Terrorists?!

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Domestic Terrorists, Pamela Geller, Politics, Wingnuts

THE TREE OF LIBERTY SEEMS WATERED ENOUGH GUYS!
Pamela Geller: Why Is America Being So Mean To Domestic Terrorists?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

patriot games

Vision of loveliness Pamela Geller has taken a break from inciting crazy people to push Sikh dudes into the path of oncoming trains to wonder why West Point is being so mean to “loyal Americans” who just want to violently overthrow the United States government and/or kill some mud people! It is not like the oaths of office we just heard Barack Obama and Old Handsome Joe Biden swear include anything about enemies “foreign and domestic.” And our domestic terrorists loyal Americans just happen to be committing an average of 307 violent attacks per year lately, according to a new report from West Point! So what does Pamela Geller think of loyal Americans using violence to make their needs known?

“This is another appalling attempt to demonize loyal Americans and whitewash the Islamic threat,” Geller said. “West Point probably is working on orders from higher ups. Or else it has bought into the dominant PC culture.”

It’s true, Pamela Geller. Everyone knows that Timothy McVeigh was a loyal American, just watering that good old tree of liberty. And you couldn’t ask for nicer guys than the ones who shoot up temples if’n they are worshiped at by non-whites. West Point is a communist. Go to jail, West Point! Go directly to jail.

[Atlantic]

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Who Is Barack Obama Raping Today, Charles Krauthammer?

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Barack Obama, Charles Krauthammer

Who Is Barack Obama Raping Today, Charles Krauthammer?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Charles Krauthammer, in his Edgar Suit

Charles Krauthammer, who is Barack Obama raping today? HA TRICK QUESTION!

Barack Obama is raping everybody today, because he is raping our treasury, because Hurricane Sandy. (Also, while we are aware it should be “whom is Obama raping,” because the rapee is the object of Barack Obama’s raping, well, in this one instance we just kind of don’t care. GRAMMAR BLOGGING!) Here is the first part, where Chuckles weeps salty tears for the unfairness we did to George W. Bush, before explaining how Barape Oraper raped us all, with his mighty black cock of fiscal irresponsibility.

“Sometimes the hypocrisy of the Democrats would leave Diogenes stunned,” Krauthammer said. “The Democrats spent two years savaging President [George W.] Bush over his treatment of Katrina. All of a sudden it’s a paragon of how to deal with disasters.”

LET’S UNPACK THIS A BIT RIGHT?

We — meaning “the entirety of the human race except for the illustrious personages of Fox News” — did not rag on George W. Bush because Congress was taking too long to fund assistance. We LOST OUR FUCKING MINDS because he LOST AN AMERICAN CITY. And four days after the levees broke, he had no idea PEOPLE WERE LIVING AND DYING LIKE ANIMALS WITHOUT A RESCUE IN SIGHT.

Of course, his priorities were in order. It only took him an additional six days to suspend the Davis-Bacon Act, which ensures that workers on federal contracts receive a minimum wage.

All right, Kraut. What’s next?

“And this idea that somehow the person to blame for suffering of the people today, months after Sandy, who aren’t getting help … is John Boehner, because of a bill he didn’t pass on January 1 — it’s preposterous, and the press is playing along that line,” he added.

Krauthammer said Boehner’s postponement of the pork-laden legislation was the right call, given that Congress was able to pass legislation raising the debt ceiling of the National Flood Insurance Program.

What is this pork we keep hearing about, anyway? Take it away, Weekly Standard!

But one of the big objections to the bill was that Senate Democrats had filled it with pork.

In fact, “Democrats expanded the legislation during a mark-up to include not just areas affected by Sandy, but also to provide money for ‘storm events that occurred in 2012 along the Gulf Coast and Atlantic Coast within the boundaries of the North Atlantic and Mississippi Valley divisions of the Corps that were affected by Hurricanes Sandy and Isaac,’” we reported previously.

Oh, so it is money for other people affected by the same hurricane, plus another hurricane? You are right, that sounds TERRIBLE.

The expansion of the bill was a way to provide a financial incentive for senators from red states–”two Republicans senators from Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas, and the one Republican senator from Louisiana”–to vote for the bill. “The Sandy kickbacks provide an incentive for those Republicans to vote on the bill,” we wrote.

Oh, so helping people from red states was a bribe for senators from red states — which they demanded and then complained about? I believe former president/future first lady Bill Clinton has a term for that, and that is “brass.” What is it we call it again? We can’t remember, but it is stronger even than “chootzpah.”

OK, thank you for the backstory, Weekly Standard, now let us get back to Charles Krauthammer, please.

“I think what Boehner did in postponing the vote until today was absolutely right,” Krauthammer declared. “That was a rape of the Treasury — $60 billion, including a ton of pork. The part that was essentially passed today to replenish the flood insurance. That is right, and the rest ought to be debated in regular order.”

Isn’t it funny how Republicans love to call everything rape except actual rape, which does not actually exist except in the fever dreams of feminists (who are all Andrea Dworkin) or anytime a black man looks at a white woman or wants hurricane funding. (Same thing.)

[DailyCaller]

Read more at http://wonkette.com/495885/who-is-barack-obama-raping-today-charles-krauthammer#37VQj4VdebEXPp7o.99

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Kellogg’s Politely Tells Catholic Fascist Bill Donohue To Go Fuck Himself

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Bill Donohue, Catholic Crackpots, Catholic Fascists

TOUCAN SAM SAYS GO FUCK YOURSELF
Tony The Tiger On Jon Stewart’s Vagina Manger: Tastes Grrrreat!

Muffer Mary

The Catholic League’s Bill Donohue is none-too-pleased with the Kellogg’s family of cereals, as it unaccountably refused to yield to his demands that it immediately stop advertising on the Jonathan Stewartsky Half-Hour Jew Hour That Hates Goys Full-Time. Oooooh, what’d Kellogg’s say to Bill Donohue? Did they tell him to get fucked? Yes. Yes they did.

“We understand that our customers come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles, and cultures and we respect their individual decisions to choose the television programs that they deem acceptable for themselves and their families. Consumers speak most loudly when they vote with their remote control and change the channel or turn off the TV if a program does not fit their personal criteria.”

Hahahahaha, that is corporate-speak for “well bless your heart,” which is southern lady for “fuck you in the ass face down on a gravel road,” which is southern man for “Well, fine fellow, I must civilly disagree!”

And don’t think Bill Donohue doesn’t know exactly what he just heard! He’s so mad he’s about to go full-Nuge!

THIS SHALL NOT STAND!

In other words, Kellogg’s is telling Christians to shove it. But they made a mistake. We will now send the indefensible picture to their senior management and board, as well as to community leaders, religious and secular, throughout Battle Creek, Michigan. We are also calling for a national boycott of all Kellogg’s cereals. Moreover, I will notify the public via TV, radio and our website about their collapse of decency. This is just for starters. We have the time, money, and the determination to give Kellogg’s some free advertisement.

Oh. No. Stop. Don’t.

It is weird, it almost seems as if big corporations are no longer running scared from and doing the bidding of folks like Bill Donohue and the One Million Moms! (Forty-seven. They are 47 moms, with a really intense interest in lesbianism.)

Anyway, looks like Kellogg’s will have Bill Donohue to thank when all the hippies decide to finally let their uncombed spawn eat Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks instead of puffed rice and tofu cereal. Or maybe they’ll be inspired by Kellogg’s next variety: Fruit of the Womb.

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Young Turks Kick Callista Gingrich When She’s Down (VIDEO)

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Newt Gingrich Self-serving Hypocrite, Newt Gingrich Serial Adulterer, Newt Gingrich Unethical, Wingnuts

Young Turks Kick Callista Gingrich When She’s Down (VIDEO)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

To Serve Man
Everyone hates Moon Empress and Lizardoid “V” Queen Callista Gingrich, this is not “news.” But why? Wonkette’s own Jim Newell explained she has never done anything to anyone (we guess Jim forgot about Newt’s second wife) and is not even running for anything so what who cayuhs. Well, Cenk [Last Name] of The Young Turks apparently does, that’s who, and put together a nightmare video, after the jump.
VIDEO:-
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