Gone With The Hate | Andrew Breitbart, Death of a Douche

Andrew Breitbart: Death of a Douche

Right Wing Kooks

Andrew Breitbart speaks at a ‘Cut Spending Now’ rally at the conservative Americans for Prosperity ‘Defending the American Dream Summit.’

NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images

So Andrew Breitbart is dead. Here’s what I have to say to that, and I’m sure Breitbart himself would have respected this reaction: Good! Fuck him. I couldn’t be happier that he’s dead.

I say this in the nicest possible way. I actually kind of liked Andrew Breitbart. Not in the sense that I would ever have wanted to hang out with him, or even be caught within a hundred yards of him without a Haz-Mat suit on, but I respected the shamelessness. Breitbart didn’t do anything by halves, and even his most ardent detractors had to admit that he had a highly developed, if not always funny, sense of humor.

For instance, it would be dishonest not to tip a hat to him for that famous scene when he hijacked Anthony Weiner’s own self-immolating “apology” press conference, and held up the entire event by standing at the lectern and congratulating himself at length, before Weiner could let the humiliating healing begin.

For that one, brief, shining moment– still one of the most painful-to-watch YouTube spectacles of all time, right there with Mitt Romney’s priceless attempt at singing “Who Let the Dogs Out?” with a group of black voters in Florida in 2008 – Breitbart could legitimately claim to have the biggest, hairiest balls on earth.

Watching Weiner apologize to Breitbart later in that same event was certainly chilling for a number of reasons (if I were Weiner, I wouldn’t have apologized to that fucker even under torture) but it was hard not to appreciate the deliciousness of the scene from Breitbart’s point of view. Watching Weiner pause, swallow hard, and make the extraordinary decision to plant his lips squarely on the loathsome Breitbart’s ass on national television, that was like the ultimate Mona Lisa masterpiece of right-wing media provocations. That the outrageous Breitbart was standing right there, looking gorgeously gassy in his unbuttoned shirt, bloated Joey Buttafuoco cheeks and splendiforous silver half-mullet, made the humiliation of the trim and neatly-groomed Weiner even more abject.

Furthermore, the ACORN videos made by Breitbart and his two young acolytes, Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe – it’s hard not to see the inspired humor behind their elaborate stunt. And anyone who’s heard their proposals before ACORN staffers to bring underage girls over the border as part of a white-(or nonwhite-) slaving startup firm, and doesn’t think the ACORN responses (or non-responses, as it were) were shocking, they’re deluding themselves. In the Baltimore office, they ran the whole underage hooker-den spiel past an ACORN staffer, and got the following response: “You are gonna use three of them – they are gonna be under 16, so you is eligible to get child tax credit and additional child tax credit.”

That is seriously messed up material. Did they edit the videos heavily? Hell yes. Did they make ACORN’s behavior out to be a lot worse than it was? Absolutely. But there’s no way to watch the raw footage and not grasp how totally nuts some of this ACORN “counseling” was. We have to give Breitbart that.

Breitbart has written some nasty things about me personally, once contrived to publish my private emails online, and even teamed up with Rush Limbaugh to humorously mis-identify me as a behind-the-scenes marionettist of the “media-Democrat industrial complex” (Breitbart thought I was improperly advising Occupy leaders), but all that’s okay. I think today, it’s safe to stand back and simply recognize that while many people go through their lives without leaving distinguishing marks, Andrew Breitbart definitely had his moments.

But he also had enough of a sense of humor to appreciate why someone like me shouldn’t bother to pretend I’m sad he’s dead. He wouldn’t, in my place. So to use one of his favorite words: Good riddance, cocksucker.* Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

* See the following Breitbart quote: “I like to call someone a raving cunt every now and then, when it’s appropriate, for effect… ‘You cocksucker.’ I love that kind of language.”

UPDATE: Well done, Breitbart fans, well done! In less than 24 hours you’ve hacked into my Wiki page, published my telephone number on Twitter, called the Rolling Stone offices pretending to be outraged “advertisers” (anonymous ones, who hung up before we could figure out which “ads” to pull), and then spent all night calling and texting my phone with various threats and insults, many of them directed at my family. “Better grow eyes in the back of your head,” was one; “I’m going to take a shit on your mother’s grave,” was another; a third called my wife a “piece of shit like you,” and many others called me a “pile of human excrement.”

Those last ones to me were the most interesting because that quote is lifted directly from Breitbart’s own obit of Ted Kennedy, which like me Breitbart ran just hours after his subject died. So that means the writers of these letters knew that what I did was exactly the same as what Breitbart had done, and yet they still found a way to be unironically outraged on Breitbart’s behalf. I thought: “These people don’t even get their own jokes.”

The really crazy thing is that I was sort of trying to be nice to Breitbart – the obit was at least half an homage. Not that I liked the guy, but he did have a few attractive qualities, one of which being the fact that he got a kick out of the nasty things people said about him. He even once had a plan to set up a website encouraging anti-Breitbart abuse, and was going to let it ride for a while, even spending six figures to hire an Obama p.r. flack to make anti-Breitbart posters, until finally revealing that he’d sponsored the whole thing. Would a person like that really expect someone like me to send flowers when he croaked? No way: he’d be insulted if I didn’t give him one last kick in the balls on the way out the door.

But I guess no homage is complete without a celebration of the whole man, and the whole man in this case was not just a guy who once said, “It’s all about a good laugh,” but also someone who liked to publish peoples’ personal information on the internet, hack into private web sites, tell lies in an attempt to get his enemies fired, and incite readers to threats against his targets and their families, including death threats. I left all of that stuff out of my obit, but now, thanks to you readers, that’s all in there as well, leaving, for posterity, a much more complete picture of the man.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/andrew-breitbart-death-of-a-douche-20120301#ixzz1o6oVYChi

Related articles

• Andrew Breitbart: Death of a Douche | Rolling Stone (tribuneofthepeople.com)
• NBC Breitbart Obit: He Called Ted Kennedy a ‘Villain,’ Was ‘Controversial to the End’ (newsbusters.org)
• Andrew Breitbart dies at age 43 – Chicago Tribune (chicagotribune.com)
• Andrew Breitbart: a truth-teller or a man who played fast and loose with the facts? (smh.com.au)

David Weprin, Sleazy Rabbis & Dirty Tricks Ed Koch

A Word About Last Night’s Election

Bob Turner won. David Weprin lost. The Republican’s victory is being celebrated as a message sent to President Obama. But is this the message we really want to send?

Bob Turner won last night’s special election for Anthony Weiner’s seat in US House of Representatives.

Turner is the first Republican in 90 years who has won it.

He won because Weprin was a spectacularly weak candidate; because some voters were so upset with Weiner’s lies and his bad behavior that they switched parties to vote against him; because ultra-Orthodox and Orthodox Jews, spurred on by rabbis whose actions may have been illegal, voted against Weprin because he voted for same sex marriage in the state assembly; and because a very despicable former mayor urged people to vote against Weprin to send a message to President Barak Obama – we hate your Mideast policies which we see as anti-Israel.

Ed Koch did this despite the fact that Weprin, who is an Orthodox Jew, is very pro-Israel.

And he did it despite the fact that Obama’s intervention had just saved Israeli diplomats in Cairo.

America’s pro-Israel lobby has become an arm of Israel’s rightist parties. No longer do pro-Israel activists look at Israel as a whole and try to represent, as much as possible, the spectrum of legitimate Israeli views.

In fact, they don’t even endeavor to represent the views of the sitting government, opting as often as not to adopt positions to its right.

Ed Koch and his minions sent a message to the President only days after President Obama acted swiftly to save Israeli lives. Prime Minister Netanyahu was thanking the president at the same time Ed Koch was cursing him.

The lesson Obama and other will learn from this is not that his policies are wrong.

What Obma will learn is that many Jews are one issue voters who will abandon someone like David Weprin, who will throw him under the bus, just to try to get their way.

For the most part, Republican don’t oppose Obama’s Middle East policies because they truly differ with them.

For the most part, Republican’s differ with Obama’s policies because they are Obama’s policies – no more, no less.

If Republicans gain control of the Senate and the White House, they take actions that will gut many of the social programs your community relys on. They will do other things that are against the interest of your community.

What will they do about Israel?

They’ll do whatever is pragmatic for them – even if that means adopting the exact same policies put forward by Obama.

Ed Koch told you throwing Weprin under the bus would make you look strong.

But instead, it makes you look like thusgs who no one should ever trust again.

You rode a one trick pony into the ring and you won. But you won’t win next time or the time after that, because everyone knows your trick.

Turner might have won without Ed Koch’s dirty trick and the rabbis’ sleazy attack on Weprin.

The message sent would have been much stronger because it would have been much fairer and more mentchlikeit.

But it wasn’t.

You think you’ve told politicians that you either do what we want on key issues or we’ll walk away from you.

But what you’ve really told them is that you will throw a friend under the bus to get what you want.

And I think that message will hurt Jews for years to come.