Category: Donald Trump Mutant Orangutan

Obama Mocks Donald Trump on ‘Tonight Show’

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Birther Kook, Donald Trump Mutant Orangutan, Donald Trump Nut Job

Obama Mocks Donald Trump on ‘Tonight Show’
Posted by Nick Chiles

President Obama used an appearance last night on “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno to make fun of Donald Trump, who appears obsessed with Obama’s birth certificate and his college records.

Leno asked Obama what had happened between him and Trump to cause Trump to be so fanatical about proving that something about Obama’s background is fraudulent.

In his response, Obama managed to mock Trump for his obsession and at the same time show how silly it is.

“It all started when we were growing up together in Kenya,” Obama said, prompting the audience and Leno to applaud gustily and explode in laughter.

The president’s response was especially biting because Trump has been the leader of the “birther” movement that suggested that Obama was actually born in Kenya and thus ineligible to be president of the United States. So by pulling Trump into an imaginary childhood with him in Kenya, Obama was getting a big laugh at Trump’s expense.

But the president wasn’t done with Trump yet.

“We had constant run-ins on the soccer field,” Obama said. “He wasn’t very good and resented it. When we finally moved to America I thought it would be over.”

Yesterday Trump, the reality show star and one-time Republican presidential wannabe, continued his slide into a national punch-line when his alleged “October surprise” concerning Obama proved much ado about nothing.

“The Donald” had built anticipation of his lunchtime announcement, promising that what he had to say about the president could alter the race between Obama and GOP challenger Mitt Romney.

But Trump’s announcement turned out to be a pledge of $5 million on his part to a charity of Obama’s choice, provided the president makes public his college applications and transcripts and releases his passport history.

Trump released a video via Twitter at noon to much ballyhoo, and his online followers grew by the hundreds in the moments before the video was released.

“I have a deal for the president,” he said. “If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications, and passport application and records, I will give to a charity of his choice, a check immediately for $5 million.”

Trump has called Obama the “the worst president ever” and briefly threatened to run against him. But Obama destroyed him earlier this year at the White House Correspondents dinner, ending Trump’s supposed White House bid with a series of devastating jokes.

On Leno’s show, Obama didn’t let Republican challenger Mitt Romney off the hook either. When Leno asked the president what was the cure for “Romnesia,” the mocking name that the president has used to label Romney’s penchant for changing political positions, Obama responded that “Obamacare covers pre-existing conditions.”

Romney has promised to repeal Obama’s healthcare plan on his first day in office if elected.

“The real cure is to vote,” the president added.

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Donald Trump Non-Bombshell | Trump Announces He’s A Mutant Orangutan!

by The Age of Blasphemy, posted in Donald Trump Mutant Orangutan, Donald Trump Nut Job, Mitt Romney

Donald Trump Non-Bombshell  | Trump Announces He’s A Mutant Orangutan!

Donald Trump and this orangutan go to the same hair stylist. Hence, his new nickname is Donald “Orange-utan” Trump

Five Things Donald Trump’s “Big” Announcement Could Be UPDATED
By Chris Joseph
trump.jpg

Donald Trump will be making a “very, very big” announcement today that might change the course of the presidential election but probably won’t because Donald Trump is an attention-whoring dipshit.

But that isn’t keeping us from talking about it because everyone loves to stare at a train wreck. Particularly a circus train with a terrible combover.

So, what could the big announcement be??

Some are saying that Trump will reveal that the Obamas once almost got divorced.

But Trump himself took to Twitter and said that all predictions up to this point are wrong.

So, what will the announcement be? Here are five guesses:

Update [12:40 p.m.] Trump announces on YouTube that he will donate $5 million to a charity of Obama’s choice if the president hands over his college records (see Trump’s video below)

5. Trump will be combing his hair to the other side of his head
In a daring attempt to change things up, Trump has decided to stop combing over his hair towards the front of his head, and will instead comb it towards the back. This will reveal tattoos of his ex-wive’s names next to a drawing of a topless Daisy Duck on his forehead that he’s been hiding for decades.

4. Trump will fire Mitt Romney
“Mittington, my net worth is about 2.9 billion. Yoahs is $250 million. Theafoah because youah not rich enough to represent the Republicans and piss all ovah the middle class, yeh fiahd.”

3. Trump will do the next space jump
Jealous of all the attention Felix Baumgartner has gotten from his freefall spacejump from the edge of the stratosphere, Trump will announce that he too will make a spacejump. From Mars.

“The Donald doesn’t jump from the edge of space like some pansy,” he will say. “And since not even zero gravity can hold me down, I will theafoah, will jump from Mahs.”

When scientists warn him that Mars is roughly 40 million miles from earth, and that he will surely die in the vacuum of space, he will accuse them of not being born in America. And then he will fire them.

2. Trump will announce that he will no longer tweet like a pre-teen girl

These are ACTUAL tweets from Trump:

– “Robert Pattinson should not take Kristen Stewart back, She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again — just watch”

– “I don’t like John Mayer — he dates and tells — be careful Katy”

– “The more Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, etc. you drink, the more you gain weight?”

– “Brooklyn Nets have the worst uniforms ever — Boring”

1. Trump will announce….. nothing

The announcement will either be something Barack Obama did twenty years ago that no one will give a shit about, or will be something having to do with how Obama once visited Kenya so he was OBVIOUSLY born there. Basically, it’ll be nothing with little to no impact on the race whatsoever.

Until his next bombshell announcement!

The very big huge world changing announcement will be made at noon today.

UPDATE: Trump has come out and made his big giant world shattering announcement.

Ready to get your ass blown clean off??

Here it is:

Donald Trump will donate $5 million to a charity of Obama’s choice if the president releases his college records.

It’s not so much an announcement as it’s a ridiculously idiotic request.

Trump released the challenge in a YouTube video.

“If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications … and if he gives his passport applications and records I will give to a charity of his choice — Inner City Children of Chicago, American Cancer Society, AIDS Research … a check immediately for 5 million dollars.”

Trump was right! This will definitely sway voters and rock the election! Those people who already hate Obama and believe he’s a secret Kenyan Muslim are totally going to vote EVEN HARDER for Mitt Romney now!

Well played, Combover McDipshits. Well played.

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