Archive for the ‘Bill Maher’ Category

Loony Donald Trump Sues Bill Maher

Posted: February 5, 2013 in Bill Maher, Donald Trump
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This Bitch Again: Donald Trump Sues Bill Maher For $5 Million
Posted by: Michael K

When the talking fart bubble out of Jabba the Hutt’s ass known as Donald Trump publicly told President Obama that he’d give $5 million to the president’s charity of choice if the president produced his college records and shit, Bill Maher jokingly threw a proposition at Trump. On The Tonight Show last month, Bill Maher said that he’d give $5 million to Trump’s charity of choice if Trump proved that his mother didn’t make him by screwing an orangutan bareback-style. Bill Maher basically said that Trump’s hair looks like an orangutan’s dirty ass, so he wouldn’t be surprised if his biological father was an ape. Makes sense to me!

Donald Trump says that he has coughed up a copy of his birth certificatethat says he is the father of Fred Trump, a human person, and Bill Maher hasn’t paid up. So Trump filed a lawsuit in L.A. today to get that $5 million. Trump queefed out this statement to Politco:

“I don’t know whether this case will be won or lost, but I felt a major obligation to bring it on behalf of the charities. Bill Maher made an unconditional offer while offer while on The Jay Leno Show and I, without hesitation, accepted his offer and provided him with the appropriate documentation. Prior demands for payment went ignored by Mr. Maher despite the fact that the beneficiaries of this suit will ultimately be the charities […] who would share equally the $5 million — something I am certain they can desperately use.”

Trump wants to donate the money to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, American Cancer Society, Hurricane Sandy Victims, March of Dimes and the Police Athletic League. Trump also said on Fox & Friends this morning that he doesn’t think Bill Maher was joking when he made the bet. Trump’s lawyers couldn’t be reached for comment, because their mouths were otherwise occupied with the act of laughing at how he keeps throwing stupid money at them.

In related news, orangutans everywhere have filed a class action lawsuit against Bill Maher for defamation for saying that Donald Trump is part their species. Gloria Allred is representing them and they will win.

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“Romney looks like a fool right now,” Says Rob Reiner

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Bill Maher, Mitt Romney Fool, Rob Reiner
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Maher guest Rob Reiner: ‘Romney looks like a fool right now’
By David Ferguson

Rob Reiner on Romney and Sandy

Friday night on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher was joined by panelists Rob Reiner, Margaret Hoover and former congressman Rep. Rick Lazio (R-NY), who discussed the different governing styles of Democrats and Republicans, particularly with regards to natural disasters.

Reiner opined that Hurricane Sandy amounted to Mother Nature’s version of an “October Surprise” by throwing into stark relief the divergent philosophies of governing of the two candidates for president. President Barack Obama, he said, came across as capable and competent to the nation because Democrats don’t ascribe to the Republican “Ayn Rand, pull yourself up by your bootstraps” ethos.

“Romney looks like a fool right now because he said let’s get rid of FEMA,” Reiner said.

Lazio replied that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has been a model of how bipartisanship should work in situations like disasters to keep people safe. However, he said, “There have been Republican failures and Democratic failures” in natural disaster management.

Maher said, “Let’s not play that fake fairness game,” then asked Lazio to name some Democratic failures.

Lazlo countered that the governor of Louisiana and mayor of New Orleans both were Democrats and stumbled ahead of Hurricane Katrina.

“Alright, then,” Maher countered, “on a presidential level.”

The host then pointed out that Romney’s remarks came during the Republican primaries, “when he was on stage with all those other crazies” and was trying to win the “states’ rights tournament.”

Watch the video, embedded via Mediaite, below:
Raw Story (http://s.tt/1rQ1h)

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Religious Brainwashing Liberty University Is Not A Real School

Posted: May 21, 2012 in Bill Maher, Liberty University Cult Centre, Religious Brainwashing
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Religious Brainwashing Liberty University Is Not A Real School
Bill Maher Liberty University

At the end of “Real Time” Friday night, Bill Maher lambasted Liberty University, the Virginia religious university that has become a mandatory stop for Republican presidential candidates.

Watch here:-

“You can’t expect me to believe anything Mitt Romney said last week at Liberty University, because a) he’s a liar and b) Liberty University isn’t really a university,” Maher began. “It’s not like an actual statesman visited a real college. It’s more like the Tupac hologram visited Disneyland and said what he would do as president during the Main Street Electrical Parade.”

Romney delivered Liberty’s commencement speech on May 12.

Maher noted that Liberty teaches “creation science,” and the idea that earth was created 5,000 years ago. “This is a school you flunk out of when you get the answers right,” he joked.

Much as conservatives believe gay marriage cheapens their own vows, “I think a diploma from Liberty cheapens my diploma from a real school,” he continued. “I worked really hard for four years and sold a lot of drugs to get that thing.”

Liberty’s diploma may look real, Maher said, but “when you confuse a church with a school, Maher went on, “it mixes up the things you believe — religion — with the things we know — education. Then you start thinking that creationism is science, and gay aversion is psychology, and praying away hurricanes is meteorology.”

Watch the whole clip above.

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